I Play By My Own Rules
by elsbian
Summary: Short Huddy one-shots. Will update ocassionally with random scenes I have written.
1. The Clinic

**Boo. A short scene in the Clinic that I wrote a while back. I've gone through it several times to change the dialogue and detail slightly as it was crap, to be frank. Please review and let me know what you think.**

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House tapped his cane on the floor in a monotone rhythmic beat as a clinic patient droned on in front of him, sucking every ounce of energy from House's mind with every dull word that left his lips.

'_Jesus_', House thought, '_How the hell do I get him to shut up?_' Stupid question.

"Shut up." House said, looking the patient directly in the eye with a venomous glare.

"Excuse me?" The man asked, raising his eyebrows at House in an expectant manner.

"I said shut up. You have a cold; that's why your noise is blocked and runny and that's why you've been sneezing. It's a cold; you didn't need me to tell you that." House argued, glaring at the man with all his might, "What are you? 40? 41 years old? How do you have no experience of what a cold is?"

"Of course I know what a cold is! But-" He said, but he was cut off by an angry House.

"Then why in God's name did you need me to tell you that you had one?" House demanded furiously, furrowing his brow.

"I will not be treated like this! I'm going to see another doctor." The man said, standing up and retrieving his coat from the chair next to him.

"Hope the door doesn't hit you on the way out." House snarked loudly, making sure that the idiot heard him as he left the room.

When he heard the examination room door slam shut he grinned at himself. '_Finally_', he thought.

He unhooked his black leather jacket from the hook by the door and quickly slipped it on, leaning his cane against the wall whilst he did so.

Cuddy walked down through the clinic heading towards a man muttering angrily to himself near the door of the lobby.

"Sir? Are you ok?" She asked, gently tapping the man on his shoulder.

"No I'm bloody not! I've just been verbally abused by a doctor for no reason!" He shouted, turning round to face a startled Cuddy who immediately withdrew her hand.

Cuddy sighed, knowing that only one doctor in the hospital would make a patient this angry.

"I'll deal with him." She answered quietly, "Which examination room is he in?" she asked.

"Deal with him? You should bloody fire him! He's in room 3, probably shouting at somebody else by now." The man answered before quickly storming out of the lobby and out into the cold evening.

House was just about to leave the exam room when the door burst open, sending him staggering backwards in shock.

"What the hell?!" Cuddy and House both shouted, though for entirely different reasons.

House furrowed his brow before realising what she was talking about and rolling his eyes.

"He was asking for it, he didn't know how to diagnose a cold!" House said, irritated because he just wanted to go home.

"Do you have to be so rude all the time?" Cuddy demanded, taking a few steps forward so she could shut the door behind her.

"Hi I'm Doctor House, have me met?" House said loudly, putting on a snarky grin for dramatic effect and holding out a hand for her to shake.

Cuddy sighed and placed her hands on her hips, glaring furiously at him.

"You're an ass. You're rude. You're incredibly annoying. Why haven't I fired you yet?" Cuddy said, looking in to House's electrifying blue eyes.

"Because you wuv me." House answered with big puppy dog eyes and putting on the voice of a little 5 year old girl.

Cuddy smiled and let out a traitorous small laugh.

"You're still in trouble for making a patient so pissed off." Cuddy said, frowning at House and brushing a stray strand of hair from out of her face.

"Yes mommy." House murmured quietly so Cuddy couldn't hear. Wrong.

"I heard that, idiot." Cuddy said, trying not to smile. "Aren't you going home?"

"I was about to, but then a really angry sexy woman nearly knocked me out with a door and I was forced to stay." House answered, smirking at Cuddy and tapping his cane on the floor again.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and smiled. "Forced? You could have stormed past her and left any time. You obviously like the sexy woman so much that you just can't help but stay and stare at her beautiful face."

"That's a lie; I was staring at your beautiful breasts, actually." House snarked, his eyes travelling lazily from her face to her chest, taking it all in. "Mmm..." He moaned in a gruff throaty tone with a smug smile.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and grinned, folding her arms over her body and raising her eyebrows at House. "Nice try, House, but do you honestly think that turns me on?" she questioned.

"Not at all; but this does." he said, moving past Cuddy and brushing his hand against her ass.

Cuddy gasped and quickly spun round to face House again. His face was a mere inch away from hers and she could feel his warm breath on her lips as he looked down at her, grinning.

"Told you." he said, smirking.

"You call this turned on? I gasped because you grabbed my ass when I wasn't expecting it, that's all." Cuddy said, laughing curtly, but her body language told House that she was lying.

"You're lying." House said, shocked about her reaction but keeping a calm voice as if he had been expecting it the whole time.

"Ha, you wish." She answered taking a step backwards in a weak attempt to get her heart rate back down back to normal.

House stepped forward, filling the gap between them again. "We've already kissed, was that not enough?" House whispered in to Cuddy's ear with a sexy gravel and honey tone to it.

"No... You're right. I can't get enough of you; you're clothes... you're attitude... you're sexiness." Cuddy moaned quietly, copying House's seductive tone and wrapping her arms around his neck, her fingers slowly caressing him behind his ear.

Her voice sent chills down his spine as he shut his eyes and melted in to her embrace.

With a smug grin, Cuddy released House from her grip and held him at arms distance, arching a brow. "Now who's turned on?"

He opened his eyes and glared at Cuddy. "That's cheating." He stated in a mock-hurt voice.

"I play by my own rules." She said, smirking as she walked past House, leaving him alone in the exam room thinking about her.

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**Hope it wasn't too OOC towards the end there, I have a feeling it was. Ohh well. Please review, all comments and suggestions are appreciated.**


	2. Cuddy's Office

**Ok, I know this one is short, but alot of you liked the dominant Cuddy, so I thought I'd post this one too. Also, if anyone is reading my other fics (the long ones), I'm really sorry I haven't update in forever, but I got bored of writing them, so I'll update when I have more interest in writing them, sorry!**

**Elliot. ;D**

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Cuddy was standing in her office leaning against the front of her desk with her back to the door. Her eyes scanned across the contents of the file she was holding, trying to decide whether it would be worth giving it to House. She knew that House would love a case like this; a young, attractive female with an illness that nobody else could diagnose, but she also knew that House would be staring at the women's body all the time instead of making obscene comments about her body. Ok, so she shouldn't enjoy the comments House makes about her, but part of her loved the playful look in his eyes as he stared at her ass. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't hear her office door squeak open and House quietly limp up behind her.

She gasped as House wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her against his chest, but she didn't shake him off. Even though alarm bells were ringing in her head, she merely grinned as he slid his left hand down to her boob and gave it a hopeful squeeze.

"Is that a challenge?" Cuddy asked with a grin, turning her head round slightly to look at House.

House didn't reply, he just smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, causing Cuddy to let out a small laugh at the suggestive look in his eyes.

She had taken a wild guess that he wouldn't answer, so she dropped the file on the desk and turned around. She looked House in the eye for a few moments, luring him into a false sense of security, before grabbing his crotch and smirking at him.

House jumped backwards, shocked at Cuddy's behaviour as he had only been expecting her to raise her voice or just get rid of him, like she usually did.

Cuddy picked the file back up off of the desk and laughed at House.

'Don't start something you can't finish." She said with a smile, as she turned around and left her office.

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**Again, it's short, but hopefully you liked it! Review, dudes :)**


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